Writers may at times be too close to their own work, immersed in the details of the plot or the ideas being explored, and unable to see the forest for the trees. But even though writers know they need feedback, and are often desperate for feedback, it can sometimes be extremely difficult to get. And sometimes when writers go looking for feedback they may go about it in the wrong way. Who should you ask for feedback? What kind of feedback should you ask for?
What should you do with the feedback you receive? Many writers initially reach out to people they know best for feedback on their writing, such as their family and friends. First, family and friends may simply tell us what they think we want to hear. Often they just want to encourage us, and since our family and friends are invested in our happiness it can be difficult for them to deliver any sort of critical feedback. Second, family and friends may not be anything remotely like our ideal readers.
Third, family and friends may not depending on the individuals be much of readers at all. But generally, avoid asking for feedback from family or friends. Related to this point about family and friends, if you do decide to ask for feedback from general readers like if you have people close to you that are readers the best approach is to ask for specific kinds of feedback. Not unless you tell them the kind of feedback you want. Writers should give general readers some parameters.
Direct them to specific things you may be concerned about in a specific section or a specific paragraph. Ask them what they think of a specific character. Ask them if the ideas flow from one specific paragraph to the next. Critique the writing, not the writer. Prioritize your comments. Start with bigger concerns—the quality of the argument, the thesis, and the structure of the paper—and then move to smaller issues like wordiness, grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. Summarize comments in a paragraph or two.
Write out your key comments and suggestions on the back of the paper or on a separate sheet of paper so the writer can refer to them later while revising. Golden Rule. Provide your peer with the considerate and thorough feedback you would want to receive. Is that position clearly communicated to the reader? Point to places in the text where the position is articulated and argued.
Is the evidence persuasive? Offer to give feedback in exchange. Buy them a fancy coffee. Most importantly, respect what they say, even if you don't like it. Most people will genuinely try to give you helpful feedback. You don't have to agree with their opinions, but you also shouldn't assume that any comment on your writing is also a judgment on your immortal soul.
I mean, you can answer questions if you're asked, but please resist the urge to explain or defend your writing. Yes, I know that everyone totally misunderstood the way the the elves of Hornhill use magic in your short story, or they missed the point of the mansplaining boyfriend character in your screenplay, and you really want to tell everyone what you actually meant. But you have to sit quietly and listen to your feedback first. As much as it hurts to say, you won't be there to defend your writing to everyone who ever reads it.
Your writing is going to have to stand up for itself. Instead of getting defensive, make a note of what people misunderstood so you can fix that in your rewrites.
Actually, get a fifth and sixth opinion if you can. Different people are going to give you different feedback, and some of it is going to be not so helpful. You don't want to overwhelm yourself with a sea of criticism, but a wide range of opinions will give you more options when you're writing that next draft.
I know, deadlines are the writer's natural enemy. Giving your friend a deadline to send feedback feels like it's in direction violation of the "Be Polite" tip. But if you don't give a writer a deadline they will waste all their time staring out the window and taking pictures of their latte, and then you will never get your feedback.
So give a gentle deadline and, if necessary, a gentle reminder when your writer friend misses said deadline. This is a little tricky, because "bad" feedback doesn't necessarily mean "negative" feedback unless someone has written "lol this sucks" all over your manuscript in red marker—that's not very helpful. That feedback might make you feel warm and fuzzy, but it's not helpful. It's also not helpful when another writer tells you how they would have written your story, or that you should just write about something else entirely.
Recognize when someone is giving you feedback that isn't constructive, and politely ignore it. You might scream uncontrollably at the thought of cutting the funny henchman sidekick from your novel, but you might also realize that doing so will get rid of all the lag around chapter five.
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